What will you be giving this Christmas?
Within each person is the desire to be and to do good. This is because goodness and kindness is the nature of our soul. Goodness and kindness are no different than language. All of us have the potential at birth to talk, but if no one ever talked to us, we would not develop language skills. Similarly, we learn our skills and habits for kindness and goodness through the care and the example from others.
On the other hand, as we grow up and are influenced by our circumstances and the people in our lives, we can develop less attractive habits of greed, blame, defensiveness, meanness and selfishness. These I call our “conditioned nature.” These are habits that we develop unintentionally that are contrary to the nature of our soul.
As a general rule, most of us live life doing what we have been “conditioned” to do, because it is easy and habitual, rather than doing what we actually desire to do, which is harder and takes practice. This is the inevitable metaphysical battle that takes place within all human beings: it’s the war between our soul tendencies and our conditioned nature or between right and wrong–the little angel and the little devil.
In Charles Dickens’ classic story “A Christmas Carol,” Scrooge recognized the negative consequences of his “conditioned” habits. Through the help of ghosts he saw his past and realized he had led a lonely and angry existence. He also saw what the future would bring if he continued his life on this path. He awakened to his inherent desire to be good and experienced the joy of giving. Near the end of the story he says, “Can this much joy be safe for one individual?”
Research shows us that engaging in helping activities has profound benefits for our health. This is something Allan Luks, former director of the Institute for the Advancement of Health, has termed the “healthy helper’s syndrome.” From surveys he conducted in 1987 with people who engaged in personal helping on a regular basis, he discovered from their testimonials that helping others on a regular basis gave them an immediate physical feel-good sensation, which he called “helper’s high”. These people described feeling “sensations of pleasure and well being, increased energy, a feeling of warmth, relief from aches and pains and a sense of euphoria.”
In Howard G. Koenig’s book, Kindness and Joy: Expressing the Gentle Love, he wrote: “Kindness nourishes the mind, body and the spirit of both the giver and the receiver. It is an opportunity to act in a way that is essentially and ultimately divine.” In other words, when we act from our soul nature we connect to the goodness and the joy within us.
Practicing kindness and goodness is critical to our mental health. It is what allows us to develop a positive self-image, a greater sense of self-worth and to feel good about ourselves. When we act in ways that activate the joy within us it diffuses negative states of mind such a fear, loneliness, anger and boredom. The bottom line is: helping others is good for our overall health, because doing good feels good.
Many people complain of feeling guilty, sad and lonely. For many of these people life is lived primarily in their “conditioned nature” rather than from their “soul nature.” The rush of their busy lives often prevents them from taking enough time to focus on changing those internal habits. Instead they focus on improving their image for external approval and recognition The problem is no matter how much we concentrate on doing things for our own personal benefit we can’t feel the joy and the “high” of giving.
Kindness doesn’t need to look like some heroic or self-sacrificing act. Just the effort of going out of our way to be courteous, considerate, pleasant or thoughtful in very simple ways can be very powerful.
The mark of true kindness, however, is always altruistic, as it expects nothing in return. It is not done for any ulterior motives or for the need to get attention or approval.
There is lots of goodness and generosity in the air during the Holiday Season. How will you manifest your own goodness? What will you give this Christmas? Will it be the gifts that you bought, perhaps in a rush to meet expectations? Or can you share from your own soul nature, through some acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that will help connect you to the real joy within you?
Merry Christmas to all of you.
Category: Holding Tank
