We all want relaxation and peace, but the fact is we can’t stand it! Stillness and silence, which are the means of finding inner peace, are often far too scary. The thought of not talking, sitting still, and listening to the silence feels unnerving and seems purposeless to many. Our craving for peace and relaxation [...]
Recently, a client I haven’t seen in some time wrote to me the following question and asked me if I would comment on this in my next newsletter. J. P. wrote: “Last December, I sent cards to some relatives back home, but didn’t receive a single reply from them. Also, I have a cousin who [...]
Guilt is our teacher, love is our lesson.
Guilt is one of the most prevalent and painful emotions that people with anxiety and depression experience. It makes us worry and blame ourselves for things that are not our fault, our responsibility or even our business. It makes us become compulsive helpers, constantly apologizing for ourselves and avoiding conflict because we can’t stand having [...]
Feelings vs intuition – what’s the difference?
Four weeks before her wedding, Amanda came to see me because she was having panic attacks. Despite all the excitement around the preparations, she claimed she couldn’t understand this panic she felt. As we worked together, it became evident that Amanda was having doubts about marrying Barry. Barry represented security and stability. He had been [...]
You know what the problem is. Now what?
Clients will regularly ask me “so how do I change that about myself? How do I stop feeling guilty, how do I stop being so negative, pessimistic and critical, how do I stop being so impatient and frustrated?” I think the more appropriate question should be, “how do I get motivated to change?” So how [...]
Fear is the most common reason people come to counselling. Be it fear of flying, germs, the unknown, making mistakes, being unable to take care of one’s self or family, being judged, humiliated, rejected or controlled. All of these fears are a response to the future. A future that, most often, never occurs. So we [...]
In Part 1 I discussed how feelings of fear originate from our core beliefs about being unworthy, unlovable or inadequate and how faith in our own goodness, worthiness and deservingness is the antidote to fear. One way to be free from fear and access our positive attributes is to use a systematic method to explore and [...]